


I hate the way I miss you

by laseroil



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Chronic Illness, Clay | Dream Has ADHD (Video Blogging RPF), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29936349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laseroil/pseuds/laseroil
Summary: It starts with a letter in his locker. Technoblade's not sure how it got there or why it's there; regardless he shoves it in his pocket.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Clay | Dream & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound/Wilbur Soot
Comments: 70
Kudos: 337





	1. The Before

It starts with a letter in his locker. Technoblade's not sure how it got there or why it's there; regardless he shoves it in his pocket.

Closing his locker Techno heads to fifth period English with Mrs Travis, a joy. The crumbled piece of paper burned a hole in his pocket as he pondered who its from and what it could be about.

Maybe a joke Tommy and Wilbur are playing with him, a secret admire or maybe just a mistake. 

Sliding into his seat — right in the center of the classroom because "public school seating charts apply in this room." , he pulled the now wrinkled paper from his pocket, eyes skimming quickly over the messy handwriting. 

"Dear Technoblade, 

Hello! Letters are simply a formality we need to re-implement into everyday life, don't you think?

Alas, i am not here to talk about the beauty of before the 20th century. Only writing this letter to ask you a favour.

Dont worry, Mr Blade, I will not need your assistance with passing a class, and i certainly do not need you to beat someone up for me, thought I know you are well famous for the blood stains in the east hall by the arts.

No, im simply asking you to meet me by the courtyard before 6th period lunch! There I can ask you properly.

Yours Truly,

Clay Dream Wastake"

Now this, this piqued Technos interest.  
Clay, or more recognizable, Dream, was not a new name to cross Technos path. 

Dream had been going to school with techno since middle school, bouncing off walls and failing classes— until being diagnosed with ADHD and finally being put on medicine. He himself didn't change much but some days he'd be more zombish then the last. Techno understood, he's been on ADHD meds since before he could remember.

He's not sure Dream ever got used to the medicine though.

Last year techno had robotic science with the blond, a class the brunette did not want to be apart of but took for extra credit. Dream on the other hand was extraordinary good at the class; The first day in class Techno remembers seeing Dream taking the front seat, ecstatic to start learning about something, Techno assumes, he was interested in. 

A few weeks into the year Techno overheard a conversation had with the teacher, asking for extra credit— begging him to do anything to raise his grade for he had been 'taken off his meds' the teacher dismissed him with nothing but a "try harder."

Techno pitted Dream, but after the semester ended he barely thought about the guy unless in passing conversations. 

And now, he was asking Techno for a favour. 

To say Techno was shaking from curiosity was an understatement, to see what this ball of energy had to ask Technoblade for, that wasn't grades or fighting, was exciting.

—

"Here's you're pen back, i borrowed it last year in robotics." His eyes held genuinity, that Technos never sure he's seen before. 

It's December, meaning the brunette had to pull over his winter coat over his sweater before stepping out into the courtyard. 

Dreams mask was just under his nose— the medical mask was a peculiar thing that Techno never bothered to look into— his freckles stood out over flushed, frostbitten cheeks. He wore only his black turtle neck and ripped jeans.

/he has to be freezing/ Techno thought, pulling his hat over his ears, feeling a snowflake land on his nose. 

"You wrote me, a formal letter, asking /me/ for a favour just to give me a pen I let you borrow last year?" Dream nodded frantically as Techno recalled the events. 

The blonde tried nudging the pen back towards Techno, Dreams black gloves gripped the plastic pen so gently. 

The brunette had hundreds at home, Philza bought enough school supplies to survive years—he was a single dad raising 3 teenage boys. He was prepared. 

Techno certainly didn't miss this single black pen, with new bite marks in the cap, he can only assume they're from Dream.

"Keep it, consider it a gift." The brunette tossed his head back watching Dreams expression change from gratitude to— something else, he couldn't identify.

"I don't need gifts, Technoblade, this is your pen, please accept the return." 

What the fuck? 

Techno grabbed the pen and turned back into the building, not before spotting Dreams face crease up into a smile while he pulled the mask back over his nose, hands shivering.


	2. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The blonde boy never really left Technos brain for the rest if the day.
> 
> It was such a strange interaction, ones only thought of in movies or books— but here was Techno staring at the pen, turning it in his callosed hands while Phil made dinner.

The blonde boy never really left Technos brain for the rest if the day.

It was such a strange interaction, ones only thought of in movies or books— but here was Techno staring at the pen, turning it in his callosed hands while Phil made dinner. 

"You can read people, right Phil?" The man in question hummed, turning off the stove and facing his son. 

"You ask as though its a superpower; I'm a single dad, Techno, I can read my children, now why don't you tell me what's up." The dirty blonde man stumbled over to the dinning table— the limp an effect of when he used to participate in track races. He held a gentle smile on his face as his eyes met his sons.

The brunette sighed, looking back down at the pen, "I don't know . . . it was kinda just a strange interaction I had with an old classmate, I might be reading too much into it." Techno eventually said. He tried to rack his brain for any sort of memory of Dream— he couldn't remember much.

Aside from Dream being knowingly late to all his classes, he'd apologize and the teachers would nod and write him off. Techno itched at the amount of detentions the blonde has probably collected during Junior year.

The boy always wore a black turtle neck, black skinny jeans, combat boots and gloves— and the mask. Sometimes he'd add a nice fluffy green jacket, but only sometimes. 

But none of this made any connection to the pen. All the knowledge Techno had on the peculiar boy didn't connect at all.

"He returned this." Techno mumbled, tossing the stupid plastic pen on the table.

"That's one of ours?" Philza asked, picking up the delicate object. 

Techno almost despised seeing it in Phils large hands. He only hummed in response.

"Well, he seems like a kind boy to return such a thing." Was Phils takeaway.

"I haven't had a class with him since last year." Techno tried to counter. Dream returned a pen he was lended from over a year ago. It was weird. 

"I think you're looking to deep into it. Relax Tech." The blonde man handed the pen back to his son, patting his shoulder light before returning to dinner.

As it turns out, Techno was _not _looking to deep into, because in school the next day he found another letter in his locker.__

__Sighing audibly to himself, he decided to read this one right now. He grabbed his bag and closed his locker before completely looking over the note._ _

__"Dear Technoblade,_ _

__Informalities seem quite seem disrespectful for someone i just talked to yesterday, though if your full name bothers you please let me know and i'll refrain from using it!_ _

__I wanted to apologize for how rude and disrespectful I was towards you yesterday, I truly am sorry I spoke to you the way I did._ _

__I do hope you accept my apology, and are greatful for your pen the same way I was. I apologize if the inks run low, it was my only writing instrument through junior and senior year._ _

__Yours Truly,  
Clay Dream Wastake"_ _

__Techno stood there, gripping the paper tightly in his hands. What kind of game was this asshole playing?_ _

__Lifting his head he scanned the senior hall, looking for the lanky boy who last touched this paper._ _

__Easily enough, he spotter him, tall and proud, talking to George and Sapnap._ _

__Sapnap was short, but you couldn't mistake him in a crowd for he was very, very, muscular. He was a massive flirt but everyone in the school knew he was dating Alex Quackity, who was quite possibly the only non-white person in the town, and Karl Jacobs, who, in comparison, was probably the whitest person in town. The poly couple was cute, everyone loved them._ _

__George was tiny, but he was also really loud and passionate, which is why he was president of the debate team. Everyone thinks he's dating Dream which makes Technos skin itch, but he also knows he needent worry because George had been coming over to their home almost everyday to see Wilbur._ _

__Techno took long strides until he was face to face with Dream. His friends around him looked quite confused._ _

__"Hi again!" Dream smiled, almost innocently._ _

__"Is this fucking funny to you?" Techno asked, shoving the letter into his face._ _

__Dreams eyes widened, he seemed confused. Confused over what, Techno wondered, he was the one fucking with him._ _

__At that point George and Sapnap seemed to have gotten the memo to step back, and they engaged in their own conversation, away from Dream and Techno._ _

__"My letters are not jokes, Technoblade." Dream said, letting his eyes relax._ _

__"What do you want from me, Clay wastake?" Dream seemed to tense at his name._ _

__The blonde looked like he was about to say something— as much as you can with a medical mask on, before the bell rang. He quickly apologized before turning around and heading to third period._ _

__Technoblade grunted letting his hands rub his face in frustration before he too, left for third period._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woooo i actually am falling in love with ny own story for once :) 
> 
> leave comments, suggestions and predictions :D


	3. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for any mistakes in my writing :( i am v dyslexic

Saturdays were a good day; a favorite for Technoblade— especially today, because today he didn't have to think about Dream or any silly letters. 

The brunette groggily got out of bed, ignoring his morning routine to find himself at the bottom of the stairs craving a coffee. 

He slipped on some busted shoes and put on a coat over his sweatshirt. He definitely looked tired wearing the baggiest of grey sweatpants.

He found his living room occupied with two teenagers sleeping on the couch while a plane documentary played as noise.

He shook his twin brother, Wilbur, awake making sure he didn't startle the other next to him. 

The other being George, who Wilbur was definitely _not romantically involved _in.__

__The two had gotten close Sophomore and Junior year when they spent two years together in London as part of a transfer student program. They bother developed the stupidest posh accents and fondness for each other._ _

__"Do you want anything from dunkin donuts?"_ _

__Techno asked when he saw Wilbur's eyes peak open. The older, by two minutes but you could never find Techno admitting that, let out a mean 'what' before the brunette repeated his question._ _

__Wilbur gave an order for both him and George before laying back down. Techno took his que to leave, grabbing his keys and leaving the house._ _

__He let the air kiss his cheeks and nose as he trudged his way to the car, avoiding any deep patches of snow._ _

__He started the car up, letting both him and the machine to warm up against the weather, before he pulled out if the driveway listening to some soft music._ _

__

__When Techno returned home he saw Phil helping his younger brother, Tommy, with some middle school project. He set down his keys and a box of donuts on the counter, smiling at his family before retreating into the lounge to give the others their drinks._ _

__He found the two playing a game of mario kart, because of course they were._ _

__"Hey Techno?" George pressed when the brunette started to leave the room. He turned around to see the video game paused and the brit was taking a sip of his drink._ _

__Techno crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, letting George know he had his full attention._ _

__"What were you talking to Dream about yesterday?" _was not _what he expected George to ask.___ _

____Techno signed, walking to the foyer (which most definitely confused the boys still sitting on the couch), though he returned after grabbing the letters from his bag. "He keeps giving me these."_ _ _ _

____He handed the letters to the smaller, internally hoping Dream didn't mind if someone else took a peak at the letters._ _ _ _

____George read over then, snickering a bit. The letters were not jokes; how dare he snicker at Dreams writing._ _ _ _

____Wait what?_ _ _ _

____Before Techno could ponder longer on the thought George was handing him the letters back, "He's been so strange recently! Ever since . . ." He stopped himself, almost remembering he shouldn't have said anything at all._ _ _ _

____"Since what?" Techno pried before he could stop himself. He found that he cared too much._ _ _ _

____Wilbur gave George a questioning glance and the latter just shrugged, "a couple weeks ago he was in the hospital. Sapnap and I assumed it from the, you know," he gestured around his mouth, indicating the mask, "and I guess that's part of it but he would never tell us the real reason he was there." He explained._ _ _ _

____Which did not help connect any dots in Techno head._ _ _ _

____"You should write him back, I can give you his locker number." He added._ _ _ _

____And Techno wondered if that was a good idea, was Dream even stable?_ _ _ _

____Ridiculous! Techno though, going to the hospital does not make you crazy._ _ _ _

____But sitting at your school desk, writing to someone you barely knew might be, so call Technoblade Craft the crazy one!_ _ _ _

____"Dear Dream,  
Informalities are fine, as I can tell you do not enjoy being called your birth name and much prefer your middle. _ _ _ _

____I accept your apology from the other day. Though you have no reason to apologize for the way you spoke to me. The whole letter and pen thing was very out of the blue._ _ _ _

____The pen does not bring much use to me anymore, and lies silently in the trash in my kitchen until garbage day, I'm glad it brought you use throughout the years, Dream._ _ _ _

____I, on the other hand, should be apologizing, for ambushing you in the halls Friday and calling your letters a joke, clearly they mean something to you and I'm sorry._ _ _ _

____George came around this Saturday morning and talked about you for a bit. Nothing bad, but intriguing. I would like to get to know you, Dream._ _ _ _

____Perhaps we shall meet in the courtyard again on Monday, or i assume when you get this letter. I do hope you will dress a bit more appropriate for the weather, shakey hands do not suit you._ _ _ _

____Technoblade"_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i do hope you guys are enjoying the story :) its so cool to get comments, kudos and bookmarks! knowing people are actually reading stuff i writing is crazy! 
> 
> we are actually getting into some real plot now ooo :]


	4. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Techno returned to school Monday morning he didn't find a letter in his locker— instead he was slipping one into Dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is quite short, but i promise its worth it and important! 
> 
> Someone bookmarked this story and it was really pretty and poetic so basically im in love with you now :)

When Techno returned to school Monday morning he didn't find a letter in his locker— instead he was slipping one into Dreams.

Before second period Techno could find himself glancing over to Dreams locker; wondering if the blonde had gotten his letter. Though he only saw George and Sapnap, also waiting for the blonde.

When third period passings hit, Techno was worried, where was Dream? His friends were still waiting at his locker which made Technos interest pique more. So he walked over there, confidently.

"Where is he?" He asked, pulling the boys from their phones. Sapnap looked confused while George had the most knowing smile that the brunette wanted to smack off the shorters face.

"Sometimes he's late." Which, sure okay Techno knew Dream could be late sometimes; but third period late seemed a bit drastic. 

By the time Techno had his free period, Fourth block, he saw the blonde.

Techno was going to pick up a coffee, the school day was waring him out already. 

As soon as he left the front doors, swinging his keys in his hand, he spotted the blonde walking up to the school; he looked tired. 

"Hey blondie" Techno gave a big smile walking up to the boy. Dream seemed stunned, flinching a bit before relaxing and smiling back.

"Hello Technoblade." His voice sounded just as tired as his demeanor, and Techno wanted to know why.

"What's got you coming in so late?" This apparently was _not _the right question to ask. Dream tensed a little bit, wandering his eyes on everything except Techno.__

__"I really should get to class! Don't want to be later than I already am!" He shouted, walking past Technoblade with a ghost of a smile._ _

__That was strange, Techno thought. He took one look back to Dream entering the school before he headed to his car._ _

__

__Techno returned to school just in-time for fifth period. He stopped by his locker, which didnt contain a letter much to his own disappointment._ _

__The brunette spent his period in Mrs Travis class bouncing his leg in anticipation to see Dream again, barely focusing on his work._ _

__By the time he made it out to the courtyard the blonde was already there, holding Technos writing in his gentle hands._ _

__There was a large smile across Dreams face as the older approached him._ _

__"Hey blondie!" He shouted catching Dreams attention._ _

__"You wrote me back." His smile grew. Techno felt a flutter in his chest over that sunshine smile. Freakles dotted his cheeks while his mask hung off his ear._ _

__The tallers mood faltered when he noticed Dreams hands shaking. Of course that idiot didn't listen._ _

__"Where's your jacket?" Today Dream was wearing his black turtle neck; except the sleeves were cut off; because Dream was an idiot._ _

__"I lost it." He said._ _

__Techno laughed, shrugging off his own coat, "shakey hands do not look good on you."_ _

__"I can't wear that." Dream said, refusing the coat._ _

__"C'mon, I don't want you to freeze to death!"_ _

__Dream looked like he was really considering it, fiddling with his gloves before he eventually took the jacket, guilt crossed his face. "Thank you."_ _

__Dream had a small pout on his face while they walked to a bench. The entire time Techno wanted to grab his shakey hands into his own bigger ones and kiss his stupid pale face._ _

__Wait, What?_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really hope you guys are enjoying the story so far :] i have like really great plans and im so excited for you guys to see them! yall have been so kind in the comments and its really encouraging! thank you so much!!


	5. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Techno walked into the school on Tuesday he was shocked to find Sapnap standing by his locker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double upload because its Wednesday and i have a lot of time to write on Wednesdays.
> 
> i was also just like shaking to write this chapter and let you guys see it because!!! hello!! so much plot ;o and progression wow!! 
> 
> i really enjoy writing the family dynamics :]

When Techno walked into the school on Tuesday he was shocked to find Sapnap standing by his locker. 

Logically, Techno was taller and bigger than him so if he was picking a fight the brunette was not worried about the outcome. But still dread fell over him like a weighted blanket as he approached him.

"Hey, what are you—" he was quickly cut off when a letter was hastily shoved between his hands. 

"Dream asked me to give you this, hes sick." 

Concern washed over Techno, "What happened? he looked fine yesterday." The minute the words left his mouth he knew it was a lie, remembering the tired look Dream had painted on his face. 

"He says it's just a cold." Sapnap seemed to give Techno a glare— "you dont know him, he's usually sick so wipe the fake concern off your face."

Which, ouch. Techno could definitely feel concern for a mutual classmate he has been sharing letters with. Someone he may or may not want to hold and kiss and run his fingers through his sandy locks and—

Fuck. 

"Thanks Sapnap— for the letter I mean." Techno said, he could feel his own face heating at his thoughts. 

The noir haired teen let out a mumble before retreating somewhere else. 

Technoblade let out a sigh, letting his hands trace the writings on the letter; adoring the way Dreams hand writing was borderline perfect with only a few flaws. 

He wonders if he borrowed someone elses pen to write the letter, considering the one he returned was the only supply Dream used for awhile. 

Techno wonders why he returned the pen. 

If he was honest with himself; he still had it. He couldn't bring himself to throw away something that meant so much to someone, so it sat quietly on his desk at home. 

No-one needed to know that though.

The brunette brought himself to First period, taking a seat in the back and properly look at the letter from Dream.

He was enjoying this back and forth they had, and wanted to write Dream back when he had the chance— but he reminded himself he should probably read the actual contents of the letter before setting himself up for something like that.

For all the boy knew, Dream could be telling him off, saying he didn't enjoy Technos company and they should stop talking. 

But he wasn't. In fact the letter seemed to contain the exact opposite.

"Dear Tech,

It feels nice not to have to use your full name— but instead a nickname you seemed quite fond of when I called you it yesterday. 

I have actually grown quite fond of you these past couple days. Though interactions have been shorts I've enjoyed all the ones we've had.

Maybe not when you ambushed me in the hallway, but i think yesterday makes up for that. :)

To be honest when I first wrote to you I was terrified. I mean who wouldn't be, you're known for being one of the most intimidating people in school, you could probably kill me if you weren't already. 

Yesterday was very nice, thank you for that. It was very nice to hear about your family; Tommy seems very annoying but in the best way possible. 

Hearing Wilbur and Georges relationship from a different perspective was also really interesting, you'd think as Georges best friend I'd know he was visiting your home; but he never tells me anything. Its good to see him happy even if I cannot provide that anymore. 

Your dad seems sweet, I'd love to meet him one day, your relationship with him is nice and i can tell he has a lot of influence on you— your whole family does, being so close and friendly. 

I especially liked when we sat together under the tree. Our hands brushed, did you feel it Technoblade? Out of nervousness i retreated quite quickly. It was silent for us, the early December weather held us close. It was nice in your presence. 

I enjoy listening to you talk, Techno, about all your interests and quirks . . . You asked me to do the same but I refused, my voice is tired. 

You have a car, right? A nice red 2000 subaru. I saw you yesterday morning after we first saw each other. 

I have another favour to ask of you, can you take me somewhere? 

I would like to visit my mom in Chicago, but I cannot drive, and my dad . . . well my dad works. 

If not im sure I could buy a bus ticket! I just thought it'd be nice to spend a weekend with you. We could drive up on Friday after school and be home Sunday.

This is a lot to ask so suddenly, I apologize! I would just love to see my mother again.

I do hope this letter finds you well, Sapnap should be coming to grab it before he gets to school. I'll let him know to give it to you. I hope he doesn't give you too hard of a time— I don't think he quite trusts you yet. 

Yours Truly,   
Dream."

And wow. That was a lot for Techno to suddenly read. 

This one is longer, more personally then the rest. He wanted to cradle the paper, tuck it away somewhere he could only find it, and read a million times over until he could feel exactly as Dream felt when he wrote it, sickly pale hands gently gripping a pen as he opens up in a letter meant only for Techno.

—

When Techno arrived home from school that day he went straight for his fathers office, ignore Wilburs grunts behind him while he exited the passengers seat. 

"Afternoon firetruck, whats got you all jumpy?" The man asked when the brunette entered the room. 

The nickname came from a stupid prank Wilbur and Tommy played years ago, dying his hair a bight pink right before the start of freshman year. Luckily it had grown out, but the name still stuck. 

"I need the car for the weekend. I'm going to Chicago." He announced confidently. 

"Chicago?" Wilbur asked in the doorway behind him. 

"What's in Chicago?" Philza asked.

"Is it for Dream?" Wilbur shouted before Techno got a chance to answer. 

"Thats none of your business!" Techno glared.

"Yeah, its none of your business, Wilbur! Whose Dream?" And of course Tommy was in the room now. 

"Dream is Technos boyfriend." Wilbur snickered while Tommys eyes lit up. 

"Boyfriend!" Tommy shouted, "you and Wilbur can go on double dates!"

And now it was Wils turn to be flabbergasted, "I'm not dating anyone!" 

Then the doorbell rang, and Wilburs face flushed. 

"You should grab that, I think it might be your boyfriend." Techno sneered, watching as his twin left the room, not before flipping his brother off. 

"Now, Chicago," Techno turned back to his father, "It's only for the weekend, we leave Friday after school. Its a 6 hour drive up and we can come back Sunday night. I'm responsible, i wont kill him." 

"We? Him?" Phil pried, a smile across his face.

Techno groaned, "It's a friend from school. His name might be Dream." That made Phil chuckle.

"Its only Tuesday, I'll think about it." And immediately Technos face filled with joy, he knew his father— thinking about it meant _yes just let me pretend like im being a normal parent by making you wait_

__"Thank you!" Techno was over the moon._ _

__"Now shoo my firetruck, I have to work." Techno beamed, closing the door to his fathers office._ _

__He was met with stares from Wilbur— and of course George was there too._ _

__"Your taking Dream to Chicago?" The smaller asked._ _

__"He asked me too." Techno stated blandly._ _

__George let out a hum, "whys he going to Chicago."_ _

__Techno wasnt sure if it was his place to say, but before he could stop himself from throwing up information he found himself saying, "He wants to see his mom."_ _

__"I thought she was dead?" George whispered, mostly to himself._ _

__And wow that was a can of worms Techno was _not _going to open, without Dream of course.___ _

____So instead he shrugged, moving past them up into his room to write a letter._ _ _ _

____"Dear Dream,_ _ _ _

____You're right— Your flirty little friend Sapnap does not like me. I can't blame him, this all came out of the blue._ _ _ _

____I've been meaning to ask you about that by the way; why return something so forgettable? And why in such an unforgettable way?_ _ _ _

____I'm glad you enjoy listening to me talk about my family, but when I said I wanted to get to know you, I meant outside these letters. Let me see you._ _ _ _

____I can and will take you to Chicago this weekend, But only if you promise to open up to me a little bit, a fun road trip game._ _ _ _

____I will admit, before someone else babbles to you about it. Wilbur and George did over hear me asking my dad to use the car this weekend._ _ _ _

____If George asks you about your mother, I'm sorry. I don't know which one of us you lied to but I'm sorry for letting if slip._ _ _ _

____Regardless, I can't for our trip this weekend, its been awhile since I've seen the city._ _ _ _

____Technoblade"_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! it might be my favorite thus far, maybe because i know where its heading and like subtle hints ill drop hehe
> 
> thank you guys for all the kind comments and the kudos! they keep me motivated :}


	6. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday Dream was still out of school. 
> 
> Techno found himself sharing conversation with George, Sapnap was there to but he was participating in a little more PDA with Karl than Techno would like to acknowledge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! new chapter :) i hope you guys enjoy this one! 
> 
> this ones a bit more domestic, but ofc im still dropping hints and stuff for you guys >:)
> 
> i see you guys all leaving theorys and while some are close none are getting it spot on so that either means im doing a good job for when i finally reveal the story, or a bad job and have you guys completely thrown off HAHA

Wednesday Dream was still out of school. 

Techno found himself sharing conversation with George, Sapnap was there to but he was participating in a little more PDA with Karl than Techno would like to acknowledge.

"He's obviously lying to one of of us. and idk if im more pissed that hes lying to me— his best friend or you, some he confines in and can smile around." George stressed, he genuinely looked upset.

"I don't really care if he lied to me." Techno admitted. Dream and Him had only been talking for a week; the brunette didn't expect everything he said to be the truth.

"But we don't know that its you he's lying to Technoblade! He likes you more."

The definitely got Technos eyes to widen. Sapnap himself even started listening in.

"That's not true." Is all he said.

"He never tells me anything anymore, he never comes to school, he's always so quiet, but when he's writing or with you it looks like hes actually happy." 

_actually happy. _Techno wonders how long its been since Dreams friends have seen him happy.__

__"He said the same thing about you— the never talking to each other." The only line Techno would acknowledge aloud. "Maybe you guys should talk to each other."_ _

__George huffed, "he's not even here, and now he's about to spend the whole weekend with you visiting his apparently alive mother." And wow, could George be anymore dense._ _

__"We don't know that his mothers alive." Techno said._ _

__"Dreams mom is alive?" A voice chirped, and Techno could see the other boy, who had only been listening in, engage in their conversation._ _

__"No!" — "Maybe?" Both Techno and George said at the same time. Exchanging looks of _should we tell him?__ _

____"We don't know, and we shouldn't theorize." Techno settled on, seeing relief wash Georges face._ _ _ _

____"I have to go, I'll talk to you guys later." And with final words, Techno went to head to his lunch period._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____—_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____On Friday, Dream was back in school; and Techno wanted to kiss his beautiful face._ _ _ _

____Fuck, he really needed to control his thoughts._ _ _ _

____It only now dawned on him that he wasn't sure if the blonde even received his letter._ _ _ _

____After writing it Tuesday night he ran down the stairs to give the letter to George, asking him to make sure it got to Dream. The smaller smiled and said he'd drop it off at his house._ _ _ _

____Techno was pulled from his thoughts by someone clearing their voice behind him._ _ _ _

____He turned to see Dreams eyes creased up— a smile. Techno wished he could see his mouth and cheeks._ _ _ _

____"Roadtrip!" Dream announced loudly, his eyes getting smaller, Techno assumed his smile was growing._ _ _ _

____"You got the letter!" Techno returned the smile, "we can leave after ninth period."_ _ _ _

____"Techno?" The brunette hummed, "We could leave now?" Which— no they couldn't because they had class._ _ _ _

____"That's irresponsible Dream." The blonde had the audacity to audibly _pout__ _ _ _

______Sighing, he gave in— sort of. "We can leave during my free period?" He offered._ _ _ _ _ _

______Dreams smile was back, "Yeah! Okay!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Fourth period came and both boys were in Technos red subaru._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Do we need to stop by your house, pick up clothes or anything." Techno asked, he noticed Dream only had his book bag, which looked completely empty, and contrasted greatly with Techno's duffle bag in the backseat, (he also brought pillows and blankets just in case.)_ _ _ _ _ _

______"No!" The blonde tensed, Techno assumes he had a shocked expression on his face because Dream relaxed, "no, I'm okay! All prepped." His eyes creased._ _ _ _ _ _

______He was still wearing his mask, which confused Techno but he didn't mention it._ _ _ _ _ _

______"If you need clothes I have extra."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Dream nodded then turned to rest his head against the window. He was flustered._ _ _ _ _ _

______Techno pulled out of his student parking spot, feeling antsy. He's never skipped classes before; but he'd do it a million times over to spend time with Dream._ _ _ _ _ _

______By the time they were on the highway the silence was bothering him, killing him really._ _ _ _ _ _

______He debated starting conversation, but Dream looked tired, eyes glossed over and unfocused._ _ _ _ _ _

______So he settled with tapping Dreams knee gently to grab his attention._ _ _ _ _ _

______The blonde jumped before looking at Techno confusion sculpted his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______"In the glove box—" he pointed so Dream knew what he was talking about, "Is a case of CDs, you can pick one if you want."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Dream nodded, opening the box and grabbing a square case, zipping it open Techno added, "the first one is a playlist I burned for you."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"You made this? For me?" He asked, taking the CD frim the plastic, noticing the _DREAM _Scribbled messily on the blank CD___ _ _ _ _ _

________"If you don't want to listen to it i have others." Techno panicked. "There's tons of other Albums or playlists I've burned."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"No, I want to listen to this one." Techno nodded grabbing the CD from Dreams gentle hands, their fingers brushed and Techno noticed he wasn't wearing his gloves._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He noted to ask about it later while he put the CD into the player, letting the first song fill the car._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The first few notes played before Dream let out an exasperated, "I love this song."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Techno watched as Dreams fingers grazed the knob. The brunette smiled letting him know it was okay, and Dream turned the music up before sitting back into his seat, closing his eyes and enjoying the song._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Techno wanted to hold his hand over the center console, or at the very least press his hand on his thigh, holding the boy, grounding him and loving him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________But that sounded too domestic for just meeting a week ago, so he let his fingers drum against the steering wheel._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im debating if i want to write the Chicago trip thru Technos pov or if i want it to be summed up in a poetic letter that Dream writes
> 
> or i could do both so you know how each of them are feeling idk idk what do yall want to see
> 
> as always thank you for all the kind words and kudos! also bookmarks!? people are bookmarking this story and some are titled some really cool thinvs that make me :) like you guys are actually reading and enjoying my writing which ive never really had happen before thank you!! 
> 
> writing is like a massive passion of mine to have people consume and enjoy my work is like super cool :) thank u!


	7. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was around seven pm when the boys arrived to the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! this chapter is pretty short and im sorry :( 
> 
> ill probably have another chapter out later tonight! :D

It was around seven pm when the boys arrived to the city. 

"Where does your mom live?" Techno asked, driving aside lake Michigan, taking in the beautiful view of the city.

Instead of answering, Dream said "we should get dinner."

The brunette wasn't sure if he was just trying to avoid answering or if he was genuinely hungry. 

Deciding on the latter Techno found a spot to park his car and pulled out his phone.

"What are you hungry for?" He asked the blonde while sending a text to his father letting him know he made it. 

"I'm okay with anything." With that, Techno settled to look up the nearest shake shack and tug the car in that direction.

Because it was _Chicago _parking was a pain. Techno paid 25 dollars in a parking garage for a spot that would last him just under an hour, and it also happened to be a 10 minute walk to the restaurant.__

__After parking the car and stepping out the brunette remembered that, of course, it was December 16th. In the city. It was freezing._ _

__As if his situation couldn't get any better, Dream was wearing his turtle neck without the sleeves, jacket no where in sight._ _

__"Dream." Techno pressed, watching the blonde fumble out of the car, tugging on a pair of gloves._ _

__"Techno," he replied back hesitantly._ _

__"I didn't bring an extra coat."_ _

__"That's okay." Dream gave him an awkward thumbs up._ _

__"Jesus christ," Techno sighed opening the back door to his car, shuffling around in his duffle bag he pulled out a sweatshirt._ _

__It was a red jumper Phil had brought back from one of his business trips in Washington._ _

__He handed the soft material to the boy who watched him with curios eyes._ _

__"Please put it on."_ _

__"Is it washed?"_ _

__Techno stared at him, confusion coating his eyes. Did wearing something that Techno previously wore bother Dream that much?_ _

__"Yes." He lied._ _

__Dream shrugged, grabbing the sweatshirt and shrugging it over his shoulder._ _

__Now Dream was tall, not as tall as Techno, but definitely tall. Where he exceeded in heigh he had loss in muscle and fat; so wearing Technos sweatshirt definitely drowned him._ _

__It was adorable._ _

__"Nerd." Techno chuckled, reaching over and flattening out a few of Dreams hair that ruffled when he put the jumper on._ _

__Dream let out something close to a laugh._ _

__"Lets go, I really do not want to fuck up my parking time."_ _

__The blonde nodded and followed Techno to the elevator so they could exit the garage._ _

__

__Eventually they made it to the shake shack, which smelled exactly how the expected it to, burgers and fries._ _

__The walk over was freezing, and if Techno had pulled Dreams hand into his coat pocket to keep him warm, no one needed to know._ _

__Techno ordered for the both of them. Dream had wanted just an order of fries and Techno got a burger._ _

__He also got a shake because he couldn't resist how pretty the pink peppermint one looked on the menu._ _

__Once their food was ready they sat down in a booth, side by side._ _

__They ate quietly before Dream spoke up._ _

__"There's ice skating down the road, did you see it when we were driving?" Techno hummed a 'yes'_ _

__"It looked busy, do you think it's because of the holidays?"_ _

__"Probably. The city is beautiful during winter. Is that why we are visiting your mom? For Christmas?" Techno asked taking a bite of his burger._ _

__"No." Dream responded, "We should go ice skating."_ _

__Now Techno knew he was definitely avoiding his mom._ _

__"We're here to see your mom." Techno said._ _

__"She won't notice if we're a day late, i've never been ice skating before."_ _

__"You have plenty of years on you Dream, many chances to go ice skating." Techno took a sip of his shake. "Would you like to try some?" He offered._ _

__Dream nodded, standing up and grabbing his own straw._ _

__Techno's heart dropped, of course he didn't want to use the same straw, that's gross._ _

__Dream plopped his straw into the drink and took a sip, his face scrunched up._ _

__"It's sweet!" He yelped, Techno laughed. Dream laughed with him._ _

__"I won't be able to visit Chicago again." Dream said when they calmed down._ _

__Techno was confused. Dream would definitely be able to visit Chicago again, he was almost an adult, he could come whenever._ _

__"Why's that?" He asked._ _

__Dream didn't respond, and only took another sip of Techno drink._ _

__"We can go ice skating." Techno decided, immediately greatful to see Dream relax, his crinkle in his eyes returned._ _

__"Thank you." He whispered._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I MADE A PLAYLIST FOR THIS BOOK!! 
> 
> its sweet and loving and soft and :] if you guys wanna listened heres the link :
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1GtKos6dGdMiVEFCNzF6V7?si=hL6OgBPwSSmSJw5FcAJ3hQ&utm_source=copy-link


	8. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno was pissed. So fucking pissed.
> 
> Maybe he shouldn't be; no he definitely shouldn't have been, this was his fault for driving out to the city with an almost stranger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh! 
> 
> guess the cats out of the bag now

Techno was pissed. So fucking pissed.

Maybe he shouldn't be; no he definitely shouldn't have been, this was his fault for driving out to the city with an almost stranger. 

He should've been more careful, pried more information from the blonde. 

But no, they were in an abandoned parking lot, just outside the city.

George was right, his mom was dead. They had no where to stay.

What was Dream thinking? That they'd be able to afford a hotel? They'd sleep outside?

What the fuck. 

Techno was pacing around outside the car, mumbling complaints in his hands around his face.

Dream was still in the car, holding his legs close to himself spilling apologizes and 'i just wanted to see her one last time' while tears came down his face.

Reasonably, Techno knew he should calm Dream down, they could talk about it, sleep in the car and be okay. 

Instead he sat down at the edge of the parking lot and waited. He wasn't sure what he was waiting for but he sat, and he waited. 

Eventually Dream sat down next to him. Looking as small as he did back in the car when Techno started yelling. His tears were gone and he looked like he was able to calm himself down.

Techno cursed himself for making Dream deal with that alone.

And in Dream fashion, he was handing Techno a letter.

Techno let out a pitiful laugh, taking the paper out of his gentle, gloved hands. 

He went to put the letter in his pocket, assuming he could read it later. Dream grabbed his arm.

"Read it now? Please?" The desperation in his eyes tugged at the brunettes heart.

He opened the letter, glancing at the scribbles of words, messier than usual. 

Whenever he reads the letters he feels a sense of privacy, but now, Dream was watching him, waiting. 

"Dear Techno,

God Techno I'm so sorry. Words cannot express the amount of guilt im feeling.

Not just when you yelled at me, which yes i deserve. But since the moment we started driving to Chicago.

I know i should've been honest. I probably should've told the whole truth the minute George babbled to you.

I think i was scared, I'm not sure of what, but I definitely didn't want you to opt out of taking me.

I ruined our perfect night in the city.

It was beautiful though, wasn't it? Ice skating together. I had no idea what i was doing but you were a pro. 

I liked when you would take me by the hands and glide me across the ice, because god knows without you i'd be on my butt!

I shall admit I also just really really liked your hands intertwined with mine. Your warm, Technoblade. 

The minute we got off the ice, hot coco in hands, and you asked me about my mom i knew i was royally fucked. 

Its crazy to think im writing this only thirty minutes later.

After i told you she was dead, that i wanted to visit her grave your eyes had a flare in them that reminded me of... 

It scared me. I knew you were mad at me. I know that I had only me to blame.

I've only seen you mad a couple times. One time in robotics, another when you beat that kid up after Halloween, 

And today. 

Knowing i am the reason, for the anger in your eyes and the clutched hands is killing me, Techno please forgive me!

I wasn't lying, not to you or George, I really did want to visit my mom. Tell her hello. 

I wanted to see the city once last time, I wanted to see the city with you. 

I wanted to hold onto a moment I had only dreamed and written about. 

I needed an escape, and I used you to get that.

I'm sorry Technoblade.

I want to see your smile again, to hear you laugh.

Please forgive me

Yours Truly, 

Dream."

Before Techno could control himself, he found he was shoving the letter back into his pocket and looking at Dream.

The blonde looked ethereal, arms held into himself, begging for any warmth in the cold midnight air. His cheeks were pink, and he wasn't wearing his mask. Techno could tell he was holding his breath. Jade eyes searching rubys for any sign of forgiveness. Eyebrows were knitted together and his sandy locks danced with the wind.

And then Techno kissed him. 

His bigger hands held Dreams face against his own. Closing his eyes and savouring the taste of Dream.

His lips tasted of tears and coco, and Techno couldn't get enough of it. 

Dream let out a small sound before kissing Techno back.

Which— oh my god Dream was kissing back. They were kissing each other and Dreams hands rested on Technos shoulders and they held each other and wow.

Techno pulled away first, resting his forehead against Dreams and keeping his hands on his face, "was that okay?" He breathed out.

Dream hummed, "I'm really sorry."

The brunette hushed him, "I have a lot of questions, can you answer them when you're ready?" 

The blonde nodded, his head leaving Technos grasp and instead finding himself nuzzling into Technos chest. 

This was real. This was happening and Techno couldn't be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i should admit this chapter was going to be longerr, but i didnt like the pacing and so i settled with this.
> 
> but also ?? kiss pog?!?! 
> 
> also some of you guys are way to smart for my pathetic 5th grade writing and already like are understanding whats going on <:) 
> 
> AGAIN! playlist link because i listen to this when i write and the songs are basically the vibes im going for!! 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1GtKos6dGdMiVEFCNzF6V7?si=zVIb0dFxSNepS6suo3t-1w&utm_source=copy-link
> 
> until tomorrow! :]


	9. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno woke up sore. 
> 
> They slept in the back seat of his car, he couldn't have been more thankful for Phil ensuring he brought blankets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lots of answers in this chapter :)

Techno woke up sore. 

They slept in the back seat of his car, he couldn't have been more thankful for Phil ensuring he brought blankets. 

Dream was laying uncomfortably on top of Techno, which how they managed to fit two giants in the back seat was a mystery.

The events of last night hit the brunette like a truck. He sighed, knowing today was going to be a difficult day.

Nudging Dream awake, he thanked god for letting him see the blonde in this beautiful state of bed head and pout. 

"Good morning Dream." He whispered, peering down at the boy.

"Blegh." Was Dreams response before nuzzling himself back into Techno. 

The brunette patted his back, letting his mind dance with questions about Dream. He wanted answer and he deserved them after being so patient with him. 

Techno didn't know where to start, what questions would be bordering too far. He knew Dream was in a vulnerable state right now, and he didn't want to take.advantage of that. 

But Techno also knew that if he waited any longer Dream would close up again, and he'd only hear the real him through writings.

Techno wanted to know Dream. Not the quiet reserved Dream that was presented to him. Not the poetic genius the wrote to him. 

He wanted to know the real, authentic Dream. The one he is slowly seeing, slowly loving.

"Who did I remind you of?" Techno felt himself asking.

Dreams head perked up in confusion—

"In your letter, you said when I got angry i reminded you of someone." The brunette was hesitant.

"It wasn't you that reminded me of them, more just the hate that radiated off of you."

"I could never hate you."

"You know what i mean." They were both sitting up now, Dream sitting on his knees across from Techno who sat criss cross apple sauce, watching Dreams face morph into an unreadable expression.

"I don't think I do, Dream."

"The—" He stopped himself, taking a breath before continuing, "I lied to you. I can just feel the disappointment and hesitation you have around me now, and that feelings familiar for me. It scared me when I saw the look in your eyes. The anger and resentment. I know, trust me, I know i deserve it; but it hurt so much more knowing you were angry at me." The blonde rambled, he was looking away frim Techno. Instead his attention was grabbed by a loose string on his glove that he was picking at. 

"—And i know you probably wont forgive me for awhile, I mean look at us tangled up in the back seat of your car because I was so stupid and withheld information and lied and hurt you." He let out a laugh that sounded wetter than it should've, and Techno realized he was crying. "You deserve answers from me, the whole truth. I think i thought not telling you was easier, it worked with George and Sapnap, I just never told them anything and I was planning on keeping it that way; keeping these secrets until i died. Which is so unfair and I'm such a dick and it makes so much sense why they'd stop telling me things." 

Before Dream was able to continue his rambling Techno stopped him. Placing a hand over the blondes smaller one comforting him. Dream look up at him and smiled, tears falling silently from his eyes. 

Techno brought his free hand up to his cheek, using his thumb to wipe the tears from his face, which only got replaced with more, "I don't want to see you crying," he whispers delicately, dancing on the line of platonic and loving. 

"Techno I'm going to die." He choked out a sob, letting the tears fall faster.

Techno hushed him, "You're okay Dream, you're not gonna die. Just breathe." He whispered lovingly.

"No you don't understand! I'm actually dying! Thats—" He cried, "thats why I'm coming to see my mom, that's why I wrote you that letter! The pen was an excuse to talk to you! Considering I'll never use it again," he let out a hysterical laugh, like this was the funniest news in the world! Like returning Techno's pen, a pen Dream would never touch ever again, because he didn't need it, because he was dying.

"You're lying." Techno wanted to believe he was just being a stupid idiot again, he was lying to Techno again. 

"Look at me Techno!" Dream shouted, and the brunettes ruby eyes gazed over Dream, and his body— his clothes, his under eyes and torn up tennis shoes. The gloves and the mask. It was all making sense.

But Techno didn't want it to make sense. He wanted this to sound so unbelievable that it made Techno angry again. Unfortunately he could see the same genuienty in Dreams eyes he saw the first day in the courtyard. 

Techno kept himself calm. Calm for Dream because he didn't want another upset balance to hurt the blonde. 

"Okay." Techno said after a long period of silence, "explain it to me."

Dream let out a large huff, "I've never really told anyone before." Techno nodded, encouraging him to continue. "It's some form of cancer, I think. Like I remember the doctor telling me, and my mom crying and my dad was so angry at me for being weak."

"Your mom?" Techno asked.

Dream hummed, "My mom was alive last year. She was amazing, so loving and caring. She put up with my dad; she might've been the only person that could keep him controlled." Techno wanted to know what that meant. With every answer came more questions. He let Dream continue.

"When I was first diagnosed, god it was so scary, but my mom was there. She made sure i was okay when i was at my weakest. She wanted me to start chemo therapy, so I could get better obviously; but—" Tears were reforming in his eyes. Techno made sure to hold his hand tightly, reassuring he was here and listening. "we made it too the hospital safely, and I got my first treatment. It hurt like hell, and it took forever, since it was my first time it was longer than what would be considered normal.

I think I was there for five hours? I don't know, after two my mom went out to get some lunch." A shakey breath was released, "she didn't come back." Dreams entire body was shaking now, Techno reached out and pulled him into a hug, grounding him, comforting him.

"Is this okay?" He asked and Dream nodded, continuing his story.

"My dad was so mad. I've seen him mad plenty of times before, but this was the angriest i had ever seen him. He told me this was all my fault for getting sick, for—" A sniffle, "for being weak and a disappointment." 

"He didn't let me continue chemo, and since I'm not eighteen I can't protest." Dream said finally. "So now I'm dying, or have been, since." He finished, letting out another shakey breath, "my mom grew up in a town outside of here, she loved the city, before we moved south in middle school we used to come and visit the city every other weekend. I don't remember much of it, but i remember it made my mom happy. So we buried her here." 

"That day we met in the courtyard Techno, when you gave me your jacket?" The brunette hummed curiously, "I was so hesitant to accept it. The cancer makes me, you know, sick and my immune system is just god awful. I've become so conscious of everything I'm breathing and touching. When you gave me your jacket i got sick, that's why I was out for most of the week. I'm sorry."

And the pieces were finally, mostly connected. It didn't explain everything but he wasn't going to pry anymore. Not until Dream was ready and came to him. 

"Let's go visit your mom." Techno said, threading his fingers through Dreams hair, watching at the tears slowed to a stop and his doe eyes relaxed comfortably."

"I thought letting myself die, without ever telling anyone, was better than saying something to you, or George or Sapnap."

Technoblade wanted to shout at him, say _no! dying is not better, you'd leave us with unanswered questions and wonder where we went wrong for you not to trust us. _he also wanted to shout that he could fix this, Dream wouldn't be dying.__

__Techno was good at a lot of things, keeping the school wrapped around his finger so he could get what he wants._ _

__He would get Dream his chemo._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! A ROLLERCOASTER!
> 
> theres so much explaining and dialogue and idk if i conveyed emotions right but!!! i hope you guys like this :) 
> 
> im about 1/3 of the way through at this point, this chapter tied up a lot of ends that Techno was looking for! 
> 
> as always heres a link to a playlist i made for this story! : 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1GtKos6dGdMiVEFCNzF6V7?si=SBv4DvczS6GEjEScV7m44A&utm_source=copy-link
> 
> comments, kudos, and bookmarks are always appreciated!! thank you guys so much for the support :)


End file.
